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Literature Text
Things Mello is no longer allowed to do at Wammy's House
1. I am not to tell Near we found him being raised by wolves.
2. I am also not allowed to tell him his parents left him because they thought he was freaky.
3. Matt is not antisocial. He just likes his video games.
4. Near is antisocial. I am not to bother him.
5. I am not to try to make either of them more social.
6. And thus more like me.
7. I am not allowed to try to make them more like me in any way.
8. I am not to scream "CHOCOLAAAAAATE!!!" when we are served chocolate-anything for desert.
9. Or for a snack.
10. I am not allowed to scream at all (indoors).
11. Or outdoors. (bull crap.)
12. Near is not an albino.
13. I am not to convince him that he is an albino.
14. I am not allowed to give Near any led-painted toys.
15. Even if what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
16. Because in this case it will.
17. Punching people is not an acceptable way to get what I want.
18. Neither is kicking.
19. Nor screaming.
20. Yelling, biting, not listening, or storming out in a rage.
21. L is not my father.
22. He will NOT adopt me as his son.
23. He is far too busy with the Kira case.
24. Matt is not my brother.
25. OR my gay lover.
26. No matter what the fangirls want me to think.
27. Near is not my inferior (yet).
28. Nor is he my slave, servant, or tool.
29. I am not to trick Near into giving me his real name.
30. Watari is not my grandfather.
31. Even if I am selected to be L's successor, Wammy's house will NOT one day be mine.
32. I am not allowed to sing "I Just Can't Wait to be King," loudly through the hallways anymore.
33. Am not allowed to push Near down the stairs.
34. May not start a gang.
35. Or a mob.
36. May not elect self as leader, Matt as co-leader, and Near as underling of said nonexistant gang/mob.
37. Beyond Birthday is NOT a model Wammy's House student.
38. I may not dye Near's hair strange colors.
39. Or any color.
40. I am not to help Matt smuggle smokes in.
41. Because as far as anybody knows, he doesn't smoke.
42. I am not to get angry about my daily chocolate limit.
43. It's really for my own good. (BULL)
44. The first step towards curing an addition is admitting it.
45. If I let people help me, I can overcome my chocolate addiction.
46. Not that I want to.
47. I am not to make up stories to torment Near physcologically.
48. I am also not to torment him physically.
49. I am not to let the fact that I am second rate to a 5 year old get to my self esteem.
50. Because think of all the kids behind ME.
1. I am not to tell Near we found him being raised by wolves.
2. I am also not allowed to tell him his parents left him because they thought he was freaky.
3. Matt is not antisocial. He just likes his video games.
4. Near is antisocial. I am not to bother him.
5. I am not to try to make either of them more social.
6. And thus more like me.
7. I am not allowed to try to make them more like me in any way.
8. I am not to scream "CHOCOLAAAAAATE!!!" when we are served chocolate-anything for desert.
9. Or for a snack.
10. I am not allowed to scream at all (indoors).
11. Or outdoors. (bull crap.)
12. Near is not an albino.
13. I am not to convince him that he is an albino.
14. I am not allowed to give Near any led-painted toys.
15. Even if what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
16. Because in this case it will.
17. Punching people is not an acceptable way to get what I want.
18. Neither is kicking.
19. Nor screaming.
20. Yelling, biting, not listening, or storming out in a rage.
21. L is not my father.
22. He will NOT adopt me as his son.
23. He is far too busy with the Kira case.
24. Matt is not my brother.
25. OR my gay lover.
26. No matter what the fangirls want me to think.
27. Near is not my inferior (yet).
28. Nor is he my slave, servant, or tool.
29. I am not to trick Near into giving me his real name.
30. Watari is not my grandfather.
31. Even if I am selected to be L's successor, Wammy's house will NOT one day be mine.
32. I am not allowed to sing "I Just Can't Wait to be King," loudly through the hallways anymore.
33. Am not allowed to push Near down the stairs.
34. May not start a gang.
35. Or a mob.
36. May not elect self as leader, Matt as co-leader, and Near as underling of said nonexistant gang/mob.
37. Beyond Birthday is NOT a model Wammy's House student.
38. I may not dye Near's hair strange colors.
39. Or any color.
40. I am not to help Matt smuggle smokes in.
41. Because as far as anybody knows, he doesn't smoke.
42. I am not to get angry about my daily chocolate limit.
43. It's really for my own good. (BULL)
44. The first step towards curing an addition is admitting it.
45. If I let people help me, I can overcome my chocolate addiction.
46. Not that I want to.
47. I am not to make up stories to torment Near physcologically.
48. I am also not to torment him physically.
49. I am not to let the fact that I am second rate to a 5 year old get to my self esteem.
50. Because think of all the kids behind ME.
Literature
5 THINGS L WOULD DO
1) Eat strawberry cake
2) Not tell people (especially Light) his real name
3) Not sit up straight with his feet on the floor
4) Would'nt stop hunting kira
5) Stop accusing Light about being Kira
Literature
Death Note funnies
The Most Anoying Death Note Moment Ever. Near: I have concluded that you, Light Yagami, are Kira.
Light: You are correct, Near, I am Kira! I've been Kira all along!
Near: That is obvious, the fact that you are Kira means that you shall be arrested.
Light: *Laughs his creepy evil laugh* I AM KIRA! KKKKIIIIRRRRAAAA!
Near: *Gets a confused look on his face* Yes, I think that's been cleared....
Light: *Starts foaming at the mouth* KKKKKIIIIIRRRRRAAAAA, KIRA, KIRA! I'M KIRA!
Near: Uh, yes you are Kira......Ryuk would you PLEASE kill Light?
"Dude, Where's My Game?"
Matt: I'm leavi
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Light Yagami
1. Replace his Death Note with a hot pink notebook covered in flower stickers. Tell him it suits his personality much better
2. Buy 20 Ryuk plushies and put them all on his bed.
3. Show him LxLight fanfictions
4. Photoshop L's face onto a picture of Catwoman and make that Light's desktop background.
5. Go up to him and scream "YOU HO I AM THE REAL KIRA!" and when he looks at you like you're insane, bitch slap him
6. Trade his closet contents with Misa's.
7. Send out invitations for his and L's wedding to everyone at his school.
8. On Halloween dress up as Ryuk and pretend to rape him. Multiple times.
9. If he tries to write your name
Suggested Collections
This is refering to Wammy's House Mello.
FINALLY!! Something that doesn't require a scanner.
*please actually work*
This was inspired by Things Demyx Can No longer Do
by ~xradrachx1990 and Things Axel Can't Do
by ~TerraofDarkness.
I wanted to do one of my own, and me & my bestie always have these OOC (yet somehow still in character) conversations as Mello & Near, since we plan to cosplay as them soon. We need practice sooo bad. It usually ends with us insulting each other (me as Mello, her as Near) and then doing something crazy, like having a broom battle in the backyard (I won. I also died, but I won).
ANYWHO~~story for another time.
SOOO this seemed to work, plus I haven't seen anything like this for Mello so far. I'll probably add on to it later.
Death Note & Mello copyright Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata
link to part 2: [link]
EDIT: Well, I'd just like to say thanks for making this my deviation with the most views!! (that's so sad... T_T I'll get there!) You guys rule.
EDIT: You know what's kinda funny? Number one, the wolf thing, is something my siblings would tell me as a young'un. They would also 'oof' me by throwing me on couches and beds (I would make an 'oof' sound) and my oldest brother would take me by my feet and make me walk on the ceiling.
Why share this? Not sure. I'm feeling nostalgic. And I probably butchered that spelling. Oh well. Just a little background story from the insanity that is Kam's past.
FINALLY!! Something that doesn't require a scanner.
*please actually work*
This was inspired by Things Demyx Can No longer Do
by ~xradrachx1990 and Things Axel Can't Do
by ~TerraofDarkness.
I wanted to do one of my own, and me & my bestie always have these OOC (yet somehow still in character) conversations as Mello & Near, since we plan to cosplay as them soon. We need practice sooo bad. It usually ends with us insulting each other (me as Mello, her as Near) and then doing something crazy, like having a broom battle in the backyard (I won. I also died, but I won).
ANYWHO~~story for another time.
SOOO this seemed to work, plus I haven't seen anything like this for Mello so far. I'll probably add on to it later.
Death Note & Mello copyright Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata
link to part 2: [link]
EDIT: Well, I'd just like to say thanks for making this my deviation with the most views!! (that's so sad... T_T I'll get there!) You guys rule.
EDIT: You know what's kinda funny? Number one, the wolf thing, is something my siblings would tell me as a young'un. They would also 'oof' me by throwing me on couches and beds (I would make an 'oof' sound) and my oldest brother would take me by my feet and make me walk on the ceiling.
Why share this? Not sure. I'm feeling nostalgic. And I probably butchered that spelling. Oh well. Just a little background story from the insanity that is Kam's past.
© 2009 - 2024 kamcd711
Comments53
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These are all hilarious...does that mean he has actually died Nears hair and started a gang?